60-year married couple share memoirs in senior writing program at Stockton College

Longtime Barnegat residents Dick and Ethel Pelrine, both 81 years old, traveled to the Richard Stockton College of New Jersey in Galloway on Wednesday, April 3, to participate in the college’s monthly “Time to Tell” program, a volunteer memoir-writing course open to older adults. The class began in January 2012 under the leadership of Barnegat resident and Stockton alumna Gina Maguire, program assistant at the Stockton Center on Successful Aging.

Maguire said she decided to host the program because she really enjoyed listening to the stories of war and love that her grandfather shared with her when she was a child.

Photo by Kelley Anne Essinger
Ethel Pelrine, 81, who suffers from Alzheimers,
listens intently as her husband Dick, 81, recounts
portions of their life together during Stockton
College's 'Time to Tell' program.

“At first, I didn’t really think anyone would be interested in the class. But they were, and I got to hear all of these people’s stories and secrets,” said Maguire. “I really love working with older people,” she added.

The course’s collected stories, based on 14 different topics from family life to sexual identity and written by a group of nearly 20 participants older than 60 who come from all over southern New Jersey, will be used as an intergenerational teaching tool in the college’s gerontology classes — a subject Dick Pelrine said he began studying at Stockton in 1983. He later taught a gerontology course at Stockton for a semester in 2000.

Dick attended some of Stockton’s gerontology courses last year, and said he really enjoyed the guided autobiography segment of the aging and spirituality class led by Dr. Lisa Cox, project leader for “Time to Tell” and SCOSA research chair.

The Pelrines, who have been married for nearly 60 years, have different reasons for attending the “Time to Tell” class.

The freedom and creativity of the course has given Dick a chance to expand on his “book of snippets,” a collection of “halfway written” stories on growing up during the Great Depression and World War II, which he started writing about five years ago. Ethel, who has been suffering from Alzheimer’s disease, doesn’t craft any stories. But the anecdotes her husband shares often help her recall old memories.

“You can see her reacting to Dick’s stories by the emotions in her face,” said Maguire. “You can tell she knows what’s going on and remembers.”

Photo by Kelley Anne Essinger
Dick Pelrine of Barnegat reads an excerpt
 of his 'book of snippets' at the monthly
senior writing seminar.

During Wednesday’s class, Dick described the “highs and lows of life” in his latest memoir – a story he admitted he drafted many times, even once again that morning.

Reading the story aloud to a small group of participants, he recounted tales of the Korean War when he served in Japan as a dental technician in graves registration. While stationed in Fort Dix in New Jersey, he met Ethel, who was singing in a band with the United Service Organization. The two married a year later.

“She waited a year for me to come back. It’s a true love story,” said Dick, smiling at his wife.

Those were the highs, he said: his marriage, their children and grandchildren, bedtime stories, movies and music lessons.

There were lows, too. He recited times when he yearned for more in life. He said he wanted to further his education.

Dick went on to obtain his Ph.D. in clinical hypnotherapy. He worked at Southern Ocean County Hospital, now the Southern Ocean Medical Center, in hospice and home health for six years.

Though going to college helped make him feel more qualified in the workforce, he said he wouldn’t have been able to accomplish any of those things without the love and devotion his wife has continued to show him throughout the years.

“Dick’s a scientist,” said Maguire. “When he first started writing, he wanted to be very factual. Now he’s really getting more creative and emotional.”

The simple love story appeared to melt the hearts of those listening, who also shared portions of their memoirs with the class. Some stories were sad, some were serious, and some induced fits of great laughter.

Before parting ways, the members acknowledged their appreciation for the constructive criticism they received in class, and thanked one another for the safe environment they created, even though many of them admitted they had once felt intimidated by each other.

“Time to Tell” participants will read excerpts from their stories in a break-out session at the SCOSA festival at Stockton’s campus center on Thursday, May 23. The members will receive a copy of their collected memoirs when the program wraps up later this month.

Because of the positive feedback received from the class, Maguire said she is hoping to host more SCOSA classes at Stockton’s Manahawkin Instructional Site.

For more information, visit the Stockton Center on Successful Aging athttp://intraweb.stockton.edu/eyos/page.cfm?siteID=132&pageID=1.

— Kelley Anne Essinger

This article was published in The SandPaper.