N.J. mental health experts say holidays may trigger difficult feelings in disaster victims

The holiday season can be a difficult time of year for anyone, especially after a major disaster such as Superstorm Sandy. Any number of mixed emotions may arise as those at the Jersey Shore, who are still dealing with devastated lives nearly two months after the storm shook through their hometowns, try to joyfully partake in the traditional holiday festivities.

Photo by Ryan Morrill
Wendy Westberg, director of counseling services
at St. Francis, works at the temporary location.

Although things may appear dismal at times, it is important to remember there is help. Mental health personnel come in all forms, from privately practicing clinical psychologists and licensed clinical social workers to local support groups and empathetic family, friends and neighbors. When feelings of anger, frustration, loss or sadness take over, it is important to speak up, seek help and remember that you are not alone.

George Peters, a clinical psychologist who works on staff responding to crises in the emergency department at Southern Ocean Medical Center, said that so far, not many people there have been in need of counseling assistance associated with the storm. Although the Manahawkin hospital does not have a mental health department on the premises, he said he was a bit surprised no one has even sought help at his private practice. However, he has heard from colleagues that people are beginning to seek help in other areas of the state, such as in Monmouth County, where the physical destruction from the storm was more severe.

“Right now I think people are in an immediate survival mode, an immediate post-traumatic recovery phase,” said Peters. “They’re more focused on the physical aspects of rebuilding their lives. So they’re trying to salvage whatever they can physically from their homes: their keepsakes, their photos, their insurance policies. They’re assessing the actual physical damage to their properties and their homes. They’re trying to work with the government agencies or their insurance companies.

“This activity, at least for the adults, is kind of pre-occupying them at the moment. They have a task that they’re focused on. Over time, once they get settled back in and the holidays are over, it might hit them all of a sudden, like ‘Wow, what have I have just been through?’” he explained.

Adults and children often deal with the process of grief and loss in very individual ways, and many people will likely deal with the basic five stages — denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance — at different times and in different orders, said Peters. Of course, he added, these feelings are normal, especially after a life-altering experience.

What may be a cause for concern, urges a “Coping with Disasters During the Holidays” pamphlet sent out through the American Red Cross, are  difficult feelings and reactions such as crying spells or bursts of anger, difficulty eating or sleeping, a loss of interest, family avoidance, fatigue or depression, increased physical symptoms such as headaches or stomachaches, or an increase of alcohol or substance abuse that lasts two weeks or more. If such feelings persist, seeking professional mental health services becomes necessary. The Red Cross suggests calling the Disaster Mental Health Helpline at 1-800-985-5990, or texting “TalkWithUs” to 66746. If you or someone you know is having thoughts of harming themselves or others, call the national suicide hotline at 1-800-273-8255.

Photo by Ryan Morrill
Directors of the St. Francis Center set
up offices at St. Mary's Parish Center.

The St. Francis Community Center, which has temporarily relocated its directors’ offices from Brant Beach to St. Mary’s Parish Center in Manahawkin, is still offering counseling services throughout Southern Ocean County via the organization’s outpost locations, which now include extended hours.

“Holidays are a lot of hope and sharing, and I think it’ll be different for many, many people this year,” said Wendy Westberg, director of counseling services at St. Francis and a licensed clinical social worker. “It’s important to keep up with as many traditions as you can, but also realize that you’re going to have to have some new traditions. People will be in different places; people’s Christmases will be different. It’s all going to impact everyone. There is still excitement around the holidays. So when that does subside, I think there will be some more sad and angry feelings,” she emphasized.

According to Westberg, very young children may regress and go back to bed-wetting or thumb-sucking, and may appear more dependent upon their caretakers. Older children may act out or express their fear in their play, or they may appear numb. Teenagers may engage in more risky behaviors or have difficulty expressing their feelings. Any age group can have a heightened sensitivity to triggers and may be fearful of or fascinated with storms. Maintaining patience and offering extra hugs and support can go a long way.

Westberg encourages people to avoid isolation during times of emotional distress. To make an appointment with the counseling center at St. Francis, call 609-494-1554, Monday and Friday from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m., and Tuesday through Thursday from 9 a.m. to 9 p.m. St. Francis offers individual and family counseling. Plans to maintain a group counseling service for victims of Sandy will be in effect sometime during January, when the LBI-based center reopens.

“Groups are a good format for people to be with other people who are in the same situation, to realize they’re not the only one (feeling this way). It kind of normalizes what they’re going through and how they’re feeling, and usually they can progress faster. It’s different when a counselor tells them, ‘Many people feel that way.’ But when a person sitting next to them says the same thing, it makes more sense,” said Westberg.

Other local, community support groups have already begun to pop up in the area. Ocean Mental Health Services recently partnered with the Ocean County Library to provide meetings at the Stafford and Little Egg Harbor branches. Meetings were recently held at both locations. Another session will take place at the Stafford branch on Sunday, Dec. 23. For more information, visit theoceancountylibrary.org.

— Kelley Anne Essinger

This article was published in The SandPaper.