Growing up with alcoholism in the family, surviving sexual abuse as a teenager and then dabbling dangerously with drugs and alcohol as a way to cope might leave some with the inability to thrive. But those seemingly unfair circumstances have led Elizabeth Burke Beaty to do just the opposite.
Now 23 years sober and at peace with her past, the Holgate resident is living the life of her dreams and helping others do the same. Her new business venture, Life You Want Coaching, allows her to partner with others in a thought-provoking and creative process to inspire them to maximize their personal and professional potential, the necessary life actions she believes are not often clearly defined in school or at home.
“Nobody teaches us about life; we don’t learn that in school. It’s so funny because it’s kind of the most important tool,” said Burke Beaty.
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| Photo by Jack Reynolds Elizabeth Burkey Beaty turns her 'self-development' work into a career helping others. |
“I thought it sounded like somebody who wanted to be a therapist but didn’t make the cut,” she said.
In recent years, however, the goal-driven coaching industry has seen an influx in understanding and popularity. Many life coach training schools and programs operate worldwide, providing classroom attendance or home study options for individuals interested in making a career out of helping others. Looking back on it, the local resident said she realized it was something she had already been doing most of her life.
“Even though this is technically my career now with my certification, what led up to it was really all the self-development work I’ve done in the past 25 to 30 years,” she said.
In her early 20s, “sick and tired of being sick and tired,” Burke Beaty said she vividly remembers passing a woman jogging in Washington Square Park who looked “alive and healthy.”
“It wasn’t anything special about her, really. It was just, I saw my potential self in her,” said Burke Beaty. “I remember thinking, ‘I’m not supposed to be who I am right now. I’m not supposed to be a victim. I want to be able to do what she’s doing; I want that. I want to be healthy; I want to be whole. I want to really matter. I want to be able to make a difference in my life.’”
Burke Beaty considers this “my bottom, my wake-up call.”
“Life presents a choice for us. I’m not a believer that anybody is a victim of their circumstances; I don’t subscribe to that,” she explained.
After getting involved in a number of 12-step programs, which address a wide range of substance-abuse and dependency problems in an anonymous and open, group setting, Burke Beaty volunteered as a crisis counselor for homeless teenagers. She later landed a teaching job at the School of Visual Arts and established a contemporary art gallery in Manhattan, helping artists turn their passion into a full-on career. Although the business turned out to be a lucrative trade, she eventually made the difficult decision to give up her lifestyle for love and family. In 2008 she moved to the Long Beach Island Trailer Park in Holgate with husband, Tom, and they later had a son, Tommy.
“I got here and had to redefine myself,” said Burke Beaty. “It’s actually been really difficult for me to live here sort of without a career. I really pride myself on my ability to build a business and grow a business. I had so much success in Manhattan, but I wanted this more. I wanted to get married. I wanted to have a family,” she explained.
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| Photo by Jack Reynolds Considering her experience, the LBI resident deems life coaching a 'no-brainer' career choice. |
“It’s just kind of my character; I believe it’s one of my gifts. I don’t know why,” said Burke Beaty. “I’ve just always been the kind of person that wants to see someone reach their potential. And if I can help facilitate that, nothing excites me more. It was a no-brainer when I found out there was an actual profession revolving around this,” she added.
Unlike traditional therapy, which looks to the past to find causes and effects to help treat a health problem, usually following a mental health diagnosis, life coaching focuses on a person’s present situation and future goals. Situational depression and anxiety may be alleviated through the coaching process, but anyone who is unable to move forward may also need clinical therapy. A great life coach will have the intuition to decipher when extra help may be necessary, Burke Beaty said. Of course, life coaches working with individuals who express danger of hurting themselves or others are mandated to refer them for counseling.
“I can’t come down on anyone; I’m here to support them. I expect them to use me, not depend on me,” she explained.
The in-depth process requires full participation from the individual seeking help. With the aid of the coach, clients are expected to do self-exploratory work and are held accountable for their own progress.
“I don’t actually do the work for people. I help them find the tools and encourage them and support them unconditionally, non-judgmentally, to use those tools to get where they want to go. Along the way, there’s going to be successes and failures,” Burke Beaty explained.
The life coach specializes in working with artists, professional women and moms in transition, and those in recovery, including recovering alcoholics and drug addicts and their loved ones. She will also lead a seminar in the fall at Atlantic Cape Community College in Mays Landing for people who have recently been divorced or widowed.
“I’m open to anyone that has a real desire to change. I feel like I have enough coaching modalities that I can definitely do that,” Burke Beaty said.
Life coaching uses a variety of tools and techniques from other disciplines such as sociology, psychology, positive adult development and career counseling. Depending on a person’s individual needs, the practice can cover a range of topics from career or health challenges to love and relationship issues. While some people have specific goals, others need to “look at their wheel of life and see what’s out of balance,” said Burke Beaty.
“I can help them whether they have a goal or not. If they’re just generally stuck, we have specific tools to get them unstuck,” she added.
Burke Beaty has her own life coach, too. Andrea Owen is a certified professional co-active coach from The Coaches Training Institute and founder of Your Kick Ass Life. Although Owen lives in Nebraska, the two work together via phone.
Burke Beaty also works with a number of coaching friends, who supervise each other on client work to make sure they are not missing any important prospects. The group work is confidential, and no one mentions any client’s name.
“It’s the most enriching environment. Coaches grow while their clients grow. It’s such a win-win. It’s amazing,” said Burke Beaty. “It’s all about looking at the bigger picture of your dharma, your purpose in life, and then going down that path. It doesn’t mean everything’s going to be perfect and there’s going to be a fairytale ending. It means you’re going to be on your deathbed, literally, and say, ‘I did what I had to do. I actually lived a full life.’ It’s not for people who need it. It’s for people who want it, bottom line,” she added.
Burke Beaty is available to work with clients all over the country, in-person and through Skype or phone. To contact her, visit lifeyouwantcoaching.com or call 917-623-9339.
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